Confession of a miracle

I wasn't in love with Ady, or if I was, I didn't know about it. Love is a jealous, predatory feeling that cannot be shared with anyone or anything, saturated with physical aspects, stimuli, and desires. I couldn't even know this love. It never hurt that strange women loved him, girls swooned in front of him, he went on dates, or they spread sacrificial, great woman-love at his feet. Berta Boncza of Deésfalvi. Bimby. Chinszka. Muse and poet, memoirist... Endre Ady, Géza Tabéry, Mihály Babits, Zsolt Harsányi, Ödön Márffy engagements, loves, breakups, marriages. Confession and disclosure. Finding a way out of a room in a correctional institution or already a woman of destiny at a young age? A romance with Tabéry, who lives in Switzerland, later a meeting with Ady, but an engagement with an engineer-writer from Transylvania? Then marriage with Ady? Who, according to Léda, is only as skinny as an umbrella handle, with sexual swellings on the front and back. Who is this lady who finally manages to meet Ady on April 23, 1914 in Csucsa? Some parts of Berta Boncza's diary were first published in the columns of Nagyvárad Napló in 1932, and four decades later they were published in Magyar Nemzet in the interpretation of the Transylvanian writer and journalist Péter Ruffy, who processed Csinszka's manuscript notebooks and Aurél Kárpáti's additions. The memoir is not complete, since Csinszka was no longer able to write the story of the marriage, only the three Confessions written after Ady's death were completed between 1919 and 1922. The writing, divided into twenty-two chapters, is published for the first time in an independent volume, with the afterword of István Márton, the caretaker of the Péter Ruffy estate, and accompanied by some special typescript photos, letters and documents, which may shed light on a hitherto unknown or lesser-known mystery: what happened to the Csinszka letters left at Érmindszent ? According to legends, Ady's relatives burned her... Did the poetess really die of a stroke, or is there something else behind it? There were rumors of a new love... Where did the unpublished poems go that were not included in the only book of poems in 1931? Grandma prayed with me every morning and every evening. He took my tiny hand between his two worked hands, and he invented the other prayer that I said in the evening after the Lord's Prayer. It was a short, simple and good little prayer. It consisted of a request and a thank you. I asked God for all those who belonged to me. Mainly for my father, but the flowers, dogs, and birds from Chucsa were also woven into it...